Dear Best Job in the World Diary…

I’m going to need 3 days to absorb everything we managed to do today.

And as everything is running to a tight schedule here I will deliver today’s experiences whilst ‘channelling’ a PDF file.

5:00 – Awake – no reason just awake listening to a Cockatoo on my rail announcing the obvious – yes its getting light, thanks bird.

5:50 – Hotel phone alarm goes – has a weird personalized message about the highlights of Hamilton Island, not sure how much I take in.

6:30 – Psychometric retesting just to make sure it was us who sat those tests that first time. Still odd, still not sure how they deduce that you’re not an axe murderer.

6:30 – Breakfast served concurrently – foolishly had cup of tea – time it took meant I didn’t finish test – have to do that tomorrow now

7:25 – On bus heading for boat

7:50 – Depart on Fantasea Catamaran out to the Great Barrier Reef– offered seasick medication – girls are watching so refuse to take it.

8:15 – Regret decision not to take seasick pill

8:30 – No colour now present in cheeks, palms sweaty, heart beat erratic – I’ve either fallen in love or am really starting to feel sick.

8:45 – Sit outside on boat deck chewing ice, everyone asks if I’m ok – reply ‘yeah mate sweet as’ – while hating myself for the lies I’m telling.

9:15 – Just when I was about to really regret the extra ham and cheese croissant, we get into the lee of Hardy’s reef – and all goes calm – so all is well…..again…….just.

9:45 – Dressed in full length lyrca (stinger suit) and feeling very Cathy Freeman I take to the water. It’s at this point that it’s reaffirmed to me exactly why I want this job. Fish, Coral, turtles, things and stuff all creating a visual feast before me underwater. Truly magical spot in the world that’s well deserved of its ‘wonder status’ I keep squealing through my snorkel and note that it sounds like a teenage humpback.

11:00 – Out of water and now no longer a GBR virgin. Have started practicing lines like ‘So there I was out alone on the reef when suddenly…..’  Can’t wait to slip into conversation….will save for pub.

12:00 – Leave reef via seaplane, try and act cool like I’ve been on a seaplane ‘plenty of times’. All while containing the little boy jumping up and down inside screaming ‘wow I’ve never been one of these before’

12:04 – Blow cover by letting out girly squeal during take off.

12:30 – Arrive at Hayman Island resort – meet possibly the world’s nicest general manager Mr Roger Wright

1:00 – After a quick squiz at the beach (Ha ‘squizz’ = ‘look’ where I come from) , enjoy a magnificent serving of lunch – 14 dishes representing the 14 different countries from the candidates.

1:30 – Have 16th helping of delicious meat product, something on a stick something. Have discovered it doesn’t matter what you eat – its all amazing so no guess work needed just grab and gorge.

2:02 – Roll myself towards the desert offerings/ loosen belt.

2:08 – Desert Seconds

2:12 – Desert Thirds

2:18 – Desert Fourths

2:22 – Desert Fifths

2:30 – Asked by member of TQ team to share some deserts with others

2:35 – Narrowly avoid physical confrontation when going for desert sixths

2:43 – Asked by General manager to take a walk.

2:50 – He takes me to kitchen, opens chocolate kitchen vault – says ‘help yourself’

2:52 – Help self

2:55 – Still Helping Self

2:57 – General manager has look of regret on face.

2:58 – Have found more room so keep helping self.

2:59 – Concierge brings baggage trolley, General manager and staff help me onto it so  I can be wheeled to boat.

3:05 – Boat offloads ballast so that the round contestant from NZ can be loaded on.

3:10 – Depart for Hamilton Island on board a 34m mono hull The Sungoddess , Hayman staff members also on board, muttering something about heading back into city to re-stock chocolate.

4:30 – Arrive back, taken into press conference.

4:35 – Stifle laughing as the only question asked to everyone is by a Japanese reporter about Swine flu. Everyone tries to give sincere answer, no one films any of it – and 16 contestants all suddenly become experts giving opinions on how to contain this pandemic.

5:00 – Interviewed by German TV crew – note to self – Sarcasm doesn’t seem to work to well with German reporters – who knew?

5:15 – Shower/change read notes from day

5:45 – Blogging exercise –agghhh its school exams all over – given just under an hour and a half to write up whole days experience and insert photos. Dig myself into a waffly hole and discover I’m still gushing about the boat ride out – with only 30 mins remaining.

6:15 – 15 minutes remaining, writing as fast as I have ever done in my life – curse not being able to touch type, bristle when Eric from Canada next to me announces he has finished.

6:59 – slap in first pics I can find, lament how much dribble I’ve written – curse not managing time better – stress about not knowing the latin name for a Giant trevally – nearly break down trying to spell ‘spanse’…… then discover there is no such word with ‘expanse’ being what I am after.

7:10 – Dinner at Romano’s restaurant, still stressed about blogging disaster.

7:11 – Tempted to drown sorrows in alcohol, but eventually calmed down by lovely dinner companion from Hamilton Island tourism team in Sydney.

10:15 – Discover 6th wind – head to media centre for interview on Canadian TV

10:30 – meet a real life Canadian – Geoff? Greg? – am dazzled by his ability to retain entire weather report in his head.

10:40 – Have group interview with him, can’t decide what hurts my eyes more – the camera lights or his shirt.

11:00 – BACK IN HOTEL ROOM – so excited to see my bed – am tempted, but no need to document this

11:10 – Cannot actually type/spell or keep eyes open so reitre hurt.


5:45 – and so it begins – back on air with Newstalk ZB radio interview in NZ, discuss everything  I’ve just written

6:45 – Finished – just need to load photos.

 7:00 – Need to get back to psychometric test (see 6:30am) so will have to post photos later when I can.





5 Responses to “Dear Best Job in the World Diary…”

  1. 1 Kiwianabanana May 5, 2009 at 1:12 am

    …whats your name again?…there it is Clarke…nice name!..Just read your blog and thought it was hilarious. Not sure you should have pigged out on the dessert but well done….a true kiwi!
    Congratulations on being top 16…Hope you get the job…as it looks…frickin awesome!!! Have a good one..Clarke…We’re counting on you…well me and the kids are.

  2. 2 Elsie May 5, 2009 at 9:19 am

    That was hillarious! Good luck for tomorrow! I hope their looking for someone intelligent as well as funny to keep the viewers, if so then they should pick you… if not, then doubt i’ll ever google hamilton island again.

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